Funeral Home Personalization or Abuse?

          Many funeral homes and directors claim to give the customer what they really want. “We service all requests,” they will say. You will hear clever marketing phrases such as, “striving to exceed customer expectations.” In my own professional funeral career, personalization has always been one of my favorite themes. It is, in my opinion, a great way to offer that extra personal touch for families. In the business, we call it the knock-out punch. If dad liked to fish, why not display his favorite fishing gear? He was a golfer? Bring in his bag and clubs. Bring in his service memorabilia if he was a veteran. Many caskets are now designed for personalized corner decorations and keepsake drawers. I can remember using two giant gardening pots to serve as pedestals for a casket. The deceased was a woman who loved plants and gardening. I also placed stepping stones from the doorway of the visitation room to the casket. Her gardening tools were placed next to her, along with her favorite straw hat. A garden hose was curled up nearby. It was not uncommon for me to display the deceased’s motorcycle, if they were an enthusiastic rider in life, or display a hunter’s favorite gun collection. A wife had me place a remote control device in her husband’s hand, because he enjoyed watching television. A group of my peers once called me “a master of personalization.” Little did I know that my efforts would soon be out-shined.

          A Puerto Rican funeral home is taking a similar, but much more liberal approach to personalization. I am at a loss for words in how to specifically refer to Marin Funeral Home’s offering, except maybe almost life-like personalization of the deceased? I’ll have to give that more thought. Visitors stopping by recently, to pay their respects to a man killed in a shooting incident, were surprised to find the victim’s body placed on his motorcycle. He was wearing a long-sleeved, black t-shirt, sunglasses and a baseball cap. In an earlier, but similar setting, visitors found a body, fully-dressed and wearing sunglasses, standing during his three day visitation period. The man’s brother told Puerto Rican WPAN-TV, “He always said if he died, he wanted to be standing during his wake.” When I first learned of the stories, I immediately had visions as vivid as those created by the works of Edgar Allen Poe. In both cases, however, the customer asked and the funeral home delivered. Remember, “Service beyond expectation.” In all seriousness, I am impressed with the embalming skill and techniques that must have been called for. I can tell you that the more familiar way of displaying a deceased person is not always an easy task. I can only imagine the difficulty in motorcycle placement or maneuvering into a standing position.

          The funeral industry is facing a number of changes in trends these days. Consumer tastes are in a state of evolution, progressive alternatives are being sought after and views on death are changing. Even my version of personalization and specific displays are growing in popularity and becoming even more extravagant. I have had family members bring in entire bedroom furniture suites and ask to place their loved one in their own bed. I have had a cock-pit video of a former fighter pilot playing on a screen above the casket. I have held visitations in a country club, with wine and ballroom dancing. Visitations for the young have been held in high school gyms. I have had a saddle placed on a casket, instead of the traditional casket spray of flowers. However, as my cases continue to vary, I have not yet been asked to place a body on a motorcycle or have them standing. In all honesty, I am not sure what my reaction would be at this moment. I have mixed emotions on the subject, as I am sure many would. Some have even described the actions as abuse of corpse. A friend’s reaction to the Puerto Rican motorcycle setting was, “Um, I don’t know, kind of cool, I guess.” While she is not in the funeral profession, the reaction has been similar with my fellow associates. I guess we are just not sure at this point. But, I would be interested in knowing your thoughts.

James Patton Funeral Director and Consultant

Copyright 2010